Communication
Communication is… incredibly important. It’sa bridge to building relationships, and the glue that holds them together. Good communication skills can enhance all aspects of your life, and even help you manage your weight.
Communication requires… both speaking and listening skills. The Building Relationships and Social Support and Asserting Yourself modules will expand those skills and offer techniques to help you enhance your ability to listen to others, as well as to verify that your listener is hearing the message you intended to send.
In any communication, you are… the speaker or the listener, and often both. Each role requires important, yet different, skills. Combining good “sender” skills with good “receiver “skills will enable you to communicate more effectively, and can lessen or remove the discomfort or stress people often experience when dealing with others.
Being an effective communicator can… boost your self-esteem, enhance your coping skills, and help you maintain control of your life - all factors essential for successful weight management.
THINKING BEFORE YOU SPEAK
If you had an important letter to write, you would… think about how you wanted to express yourself before you put pen to paper. The same should be true of verbal communication.
Before you say something, you should…decide what the message is. Because messages are derived from our thoughts and feelings, the first step in developing any message is to determine what you are thinking or feeling.
The next step is to… use your assertive communication skills to communicate the message to the receiver in a direct, emotionally neutral and honest fashion.
Lastly, you want to…check with your receiver(s) periodically to make sure what they hear is what you meant. Unfortunately, this process does not always happen.
Good communication skills require… a high level of self-awareness. Understanding your personal style will go a long way towards creating good, and lasting, impressions with others.
Too often, people have difficulty… putting their true feelings into words. They end up voicing a false or distorted message. Typically the listener responds to what you said, or what they thought you said, even if it is not what you meant. This leads to misunderstandings, unmet needs, resentment, and stress. Factors that can distort your ability to clearly communicate your feelings include:
- Lack of clarity about your own feelings
- Negative feelings you express or try to hide
- Hasty reactions to a statement or situation
- Fear of the receiver’s response
Information screening and feedback evaluation are… two techniques you can use to minimize the amount of distortion, and the resulting stress, between you and your listener
1. INFORMATION SCREENING: THE ART OF SPEECH EDITING
Before you speak, check what you intend to say by asking yourself the following questions:
- CONTENT – What do I feel or believe?
- CLARITY – Will the receiver understand the words I’ve chosen? Is the wording as simple as I can make it without losing my meaning?
- CONCISENESS – Am I saying more than is necessary? Have I added unnecessary details that could confuse or distract the receiver so that he or she doesn’t hear my main point?
- IMPORTANCE – How well do I convey that the message is critical, either to myself or to the receiver?
- NON-VERBALS – Is my language appropriate? Pay attention to the placement of your hands and arms while rehearsing your statement.
2. FEEDBACK EVALUATION— CHECKING THE RECEPTION
As a sender, you should evaluate your receiver’s feedback. What kind of reaction did you receive? If the feedback indicates the message was understood, continue your conversation to its logical conclusion. If the receiver’s feedback suggests the message was misunderstood, or if you receive an inappropriate reaction, you should modify your message until the feedback tells you the receiver has understood your message the way you intended. What if the receiver still doesn’t understand your message, despite your best attempts to be clear? Sometimes the receiver will not be ready to communicate, no matter how well you deliver your message. If this happens, politely ask to end the discussion and continue it after both of you have had time to cool off and think. If no progress is possible and the issue is a critical one, you may need to seek professional intervention. A mediator can facilitate communication in workplace disputes, and a counselor can help resolve family issues.
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